Story Of real warriors

How’s the Josh
“High Sir” – cheered the crowd in movie hall .
This is a surge of us – ‘civilians’ being extreme patriotic, mostly while watching any visual plotted on Indian-armed-forces.  Recently released movie URI was a treat to eyes and to the soul as it will make you empathize with the emotions of a real army man, it will make you understand the day and night ‘life-story’ of an Indian Army Officer.
I was in complete awe of the character played by reel-hero Vicky Kaushal. Vicky and even other actors emoted so well that it almost felt to be watching a real story. A real family. A real Daughter who cried on the funeral of her real father. A real friend who was devastated from inside but just to keep the uniform intact he couldn’t cry. What an apt performance. And yes everything seemed so real that most of us would have shed a tear or two for sure.
The impact of the movie remained with me for few days and I was influenced by the act to such an extent that I cannot stop thinking of the hardships and sincerity of an army person. And how we civilians go for work and then cry for a job where we have nothing at stake. Absolutely Nothing. You don’t like it, you switch the job but there are these real heroes who have their ‘Life’ at stake. They are not there for fame or security. They are there for an inexplicable love which is difficult to be understood by anybody who reaches office and cries for the traffic of the city.
Then On recent Friday,I read about the news – 2 Air Force Pilots Killed During Take-Off At HAL Airport In Bengaluru. The movie visuals were so fresh in my mind that it urged me to know more about the two warriors- Squadron Leader Siddartha Negi and Squadron Leader Sameer Abrol, aged 31 and 32 respectively. Squadron Leader Siddartha was one of the youngest and the best Test Pilot. He was nick-named as the Golden Boy for his level up skills and when I read that it was his Birthday on the day he flew the fatal french-made Mirage 2000, it made me sank in much to speculate that the movie URI showed just one Vihaan Singh Shergill(Vicky Kaushal’s character name), when we have whole lot army of such persona. What a personality! They are the real heroes. When I stalked more on their social media profile I was so disheartened to see the pictures of the their respective wives. The profile picture looked so real like one of yours or mine! The substantial difference is their “altitude” (pun intended) and the inevitable spirit of these brave-hearts. Salute to the real heroes and with no offense to the actors who play the role of the warriors I just hope that let us be more gentle and appreciative of the real one than to the reel ones. Jai Hind !


Just for today…

I still am wild, it is just I have stopped declaring it.

I still press my knuckles when I need to.

I still can say all those things which I mean to.

I just have chosen to be silent today.

I did not chose it because I wanted to

I made this decision because I am ought to.

I am trying to abide by the rules today

I  am going to be fake today
The fake is also not very lovable

The fake one is just more acceptable

I will live today by your way

I will put a smile and control the anger

I will just dodge being candor

I might not look straight into your eyes

But who cares till I am well dressed and shy

The real me is ferocious, Guilt free and obnoxious

I know that is scary and will create a fuss

Although the heart full laugh of a real me is enough to crack you up

The jokes are sometimes tacky and at times too blunt

But today is not about the real one

Let me put all the ‘essentials’, you claim to identify “me”.

Let me cage the forehead, nose, wrists, toes, eyes and knee

But when tomorrow I spread my wings , shall I Thank you for ‘allowing” me to be.

Way before we do this norm, I give a gentle reminder to you all

I still am wild, it is just I have stopped declaring it.

I still press my knuckles when I need to.

I still can say all those things which I mean to.

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Believe it or Not !

My acquaintance with the idea of existence of ‘GOD ‘ might not be similar to your belief. So, this is not a debate but just a thought of expression of my belief in GOD and yet being declared an atheist by my loved ones. This can be called as a justification .Well ! May be. So I do believe in the existence of some “super power” which is the driving force of the survival of all. Each one of us, and when I say each one of us, I am counting on more named species than homo-sapiens, has been designed with some unique identity. Similar to managing a software database with a unique identity, if we go and dig deeper we would realize how amazingly different and exclusive we all are. Can you believe !! None of us is similar to each other. I am so sure that even other(than homo sapiens) species would have that what-is-so-special-about-me moment but then the super natural power which is defined as ‘GOD’ by the majority of my species has sent us all with the purpose to “Find your real self”. And yet most of us die just believing that we-all-are-same. Yeah! I know this sounds funny (atleast to me).

Well but before I confuse you more , I have got one anecdote to share. When I, aged 4 years, used to see my mom praying to some idols, I would wonder what powers they have ?? Well one day I asked mom,”what are you doing ?”

Mom – “Praying and you should also Pray.”

Me – “What should I ask GOD, Mom ?”

Mom – “Just pray that he should make you wise and heal your sister.” (My sister suffered autism)

I liked the idea of praying. I still do pray, but now I am aware that both the things which I asked then will never be fulfilled. So to fit in, I tweaked my prayer just by mentioning – Thanks(for my life) and Sorry(If I ever offended you) and this has actually worked great for me as I am immensely proud of my sister and I strongly believe that I am God’s favorite child.  Atleast, I would like to believe this with all numerous prayers I have made to the “Idols”.

But while I have conceptualized it in my world of belief, when I connect with real super power is more than a “Thank” and “Sorry” note. I am brutally honest about my opinion as if I am writing my diary. Either I am riding or doing-nothing , I connect with the power, I get my answers and I do get clarity on my thoughts. I also miss the connection if I become too busy for days and months just doing the trivial work and bidding – Thanks and Sorry.

So if you ask me to travel too much to a ‘wish-fulfilling’ temple then I might be reluctant to do so as I would not utter more than a “Thank” and “Sorry” note. But that does not mean that I am an atheist. In fact, more than anything I am just scared because when you visit such temple, you have more restraints than praying to Idols who are residing in the temples in neighbor. You can’t move anti-clockwise. You can’t eat prasadam with your left hand.In fact, there is a temple in Allepy which I visited and it actually had a board declaring – “Christians are not allowed inside”. The way we can’t stand few people in our life there could be a possibility that GOD of specific religion cannot stand people of other religion. I am sure there would be some logical reason behind it but as I am not aware , I just follow them because I am scared of the personification of the “Faith in GOD”.

When I visited a ‘famously famous’ Temple in Mumbai where people speak there prayers in the ear of the idol of three mouse and what looked strange to me was when one of the parent was persuading his kid to cover the other ear with his hand else the prayer will pass from one ear to another and eventually would not be heard, a famous saying in Hindi – “ek kaan se sun ke dusre kaan se nikal dena“. I am not sure if it was offending but I did LOL in my head. There is a certain fear which these kind of practices put us into. If you don’t follow, then what-not can happen.

I like to believe that GOD is an intelligent persona and also immensely forgiving as well because it is the only one who is going to understand and who has time to listen. As conclusion, I just would like to think and believe that we all have our GOD within ourselves who is not much bothered about our religion or sex or caste or if we are moving clockwise or otherwise. The super power is to help us to watch out and find ourselves. Just That!!















Travelogue Impressions – Trip to Himachal

This is a story of two Indian kids who always dreamt of roaming around the country but couldn’t get more obliged than “securing” their future. So how did we crack this up??  Simply, by marrying each-other and thereafter we decided on to take life seriously by packing our bags and travelling around!!

So we had our recent visit to Himachal , a must-visit place for all who miss greenery and simplicity around life in their respective cities. We planned for a trip of 8 days and we toured from Bangalore -> Chandigarh -> Dalhousie -> Khajjiar -> DharamSala -> Mcleodganj -> Bir-Bling -> Shimla -> Kufri -> Shimla -> Delhi -> Bangalore

1st Day : We started our journey by taking an early flight from Bangalore to Chandigarh. We were received by our driver whom we had pre-booked for whole of our travel. We decided to reach Dalhousie on the same day and hence we started off soon after landing Chandigarh. It took 7 hours for us to reach our destination and as we reached there late night , we preferred to take rest on that day. We stayed at Alps Resort which looked as an average hotel to us.

2nd Day : We were all charged up to visit the city. Well, Dalhousie is an absolute beauty with most friendly residents. We enjoyed hogging ourselves with street food on mall road. Mall road will remind you of your “good-old-market” days where all set of people are busy munching and sitting around the bonfire to warm themselves. We covered Dainkund peak and Khjjiar on the same day. We started off towards Dainkund peak in the hope of seeing some snow but as we were progressing we were kind of disappointed to know that the snowfall had happened month before and it is going to be difficult to find any kind of snow until we reached the beautiful peak. It was all covered with white sheet of snow and we got the best of our photographs clicked there 😛 . After spending a good amount of time on Dainkund peak, we reached khajjiar around 4 P.M. Khajjiar lake is surrounded by these tall cidar trees but there is no lake as such and just a huge ground. We reached back to Dalhousie and thought of shifting to another hotel as there was clearly an option to get better hotels given the off season booking rates. We stayed at Bear Valley Resort and it was a better deal we got for our money.

Lesson Learnt : If you are planing a trip off season and in group then booking online is not a good option as you can get much cheaper hotels available offline.

Recommended Restaurants:  Sher-e-punjab. There are many fake branches but one located at subhash chowk is the real one and you will get good authentic food there.

Dalahousie Public School covers this one km of stretch. The sideways of the road are covered with hanging Planters.
You will see the model aircrafts and tankers placed here.


Dainkund Peak, Dalhousie
Dainkund is the highest peak in Dalhousie and gets maximum snowfall during the winter season. It is located at an altitude of 2755 meters above sea level and the whole stretch was covered with snow.


Shining sun and glowing snow made it a best spot to play around 🙂

3rd Day : We had our breakfast around 9 A.M and started our journey towards Dharamsala where we wanted to visit the most scenic stadium of the world and indeed it is one the  best located stadium as it was all surrounded by the range of Himalayas which was covered with white snow. The stadium was open for all without any entry tickets till 5 P.M. On the same day we reached out to Mcleodganj which was just 7 km uphill and we enjoyed our stay at Pride Surya mountain resort with best of services. The hotel was located very near to market place and hence we spent the evening seeking the best food place in the market.


4th Day: Mcleodganj is know for its Tibetan culture. It is known to be a home to the Tibetan spiritual leader Dalai Lama and if you really are interested in knowing the history around Tibetan struggles and culture then Tibetan Museum is a must visit place. There is nothing more beautiful than watching sunset or sunrises on hills. It is worth standing taking all the chilled wind on your face when you see that small red dot in the sky and the most beautiful colors ever. We climbed up around 100 steps to view Bhagsu Waterfall closely and it turned out to be an average view and also a decent workout for us. There are not many places to visit in Mcleodganj and it is not at all worth taking a different route just to visit Dal Lake. Dal Lake ‘should’ only be visited while going towards sunset point as it falls in mid of your way . The sunset point will make you realize the tranquility of heaven you are in. A must visit view.

Note: Do not miss watching sunset at sunset point in Mcleodganj.

Sunset Point Mcleodganj
The sun set view amazed us with the most beautiful combination of color each passing moment.


It looked more beautiful with naked eyes.

5th Day:  This is the day we reserved for some adventure. Bir Billing known for adventure sport Paragliding, had hosted first ever world cup of paragliding, is among the best paragliding spots in the worldWe headed towards Bir Billing from Mcleodganj around 10 A.M and it took us around 3hrs to reach our destination. We had Breakfast on our way and reached Bir Billing around 1 P.M. There are many agencies which will offer paragliding but we chose to go for a government agency. It quoted us 2k per person which also included the video captured during the experience. There were photographs taken while landing but for that they charged extra 200 bucks per person. We dropped our Car at Bir Road and from there were taken up by an open Jeep which was also kind of thrilling experience as the road was really rough. The tandem paragliding was safe for naive like us and the guides were friendly to talk about their experiences and culture. The whole experience could stretch from 20-30 mins. We got free around 3:30ish in the evening and headed back towards Mcleodganj. Rest of the evening was spent wandering the local market in search of the best north-Indian meal.

Paragliding at Bir
Bir Billing has hosted the first ever World Cup of paragliding in world. The paragliding launch site is in the meadow at Billing (14 km north of Bir), at an elevation of 2400 metres, while the landing site and most tourist accommodations are in the village of Chowgan , on the southern edge of Bir.

6th Day: We started quite early to move towards Simla to make the best out of the day. We reached Simla around 2 P.M. and just crashed down at our hotel. Evening we just wanted to roam around the famous mall road and we had one of most mesmerizing sunset view from there. Mall road is basically a shopping street where you can find all kind of stuff and proper north Indian street food. The best thing about Simla was the “DHABAS” and a must visit to “Amrit Dhaba” near the bus stand. We had the amazing lip smacking dal(Maa ki Daal), Rajma-Chawal and Pranthas there.

Amrit Dhaba Near BusStand was one of the best place where we had lip-smacking daal and rajma.
Sunset View from Mall Road.
It is not even half as beautiful as we saw it in real .

7th Day: The next day we moved to Kufri in our last hope of experiencing Snow. It  was just an hour drive away from Simla. Kufri was as hot as Simla and the roads were covered with dust instead of snow. We did not have much to explore except the mule-ride to the Mahasu Peak, highest peak in Kufri. The ride was scary and dangerous as the pathway was really bad and all you have to rely on is the one directing the mule who were such young boys. We paid around 500 bucks per person for the ride which was a 30 mins long ride..There is nothing worth enjoying on top of the hill. It was not even kept clean and you will be disappointed to look around your ‘immediate’ view. There you won’t see any traits of “Swachh Bharat” and just a “Bharat” you would not want your special one to see. Not at all recommended. We spent around one hour risking our life on the ride and got back to our hotel in Simla. In the evening we had a fine dine at hotel ‘Eighteen 71’ to celebrate our anniversary day 🙂 The food and ambiance was good and rich respectively. But Yeah I did miss the “Dhabe ki Daal” 😉

                                                  On our way towards Kufri.

Get photographed with yatch is a kind of local business there.
This view will make you think – “What if I get lost in here ?? “

8th Day:  This day was our way back to Delhi. The road is good and we had a smooth drive. But just one thing I keep missing is “Amrit Dhabe ki Daal” 😛 . Next day, we boarded our flight to Bangalore. Yes, back to the sound of city which empower us enough to yearn for the “pace of nature” 🙂


One day at a Time !

There are so many things I plan to do each year and there are only a few of them which I end up doing or achieving. But then the very last day of each year I always spend some of my time analyzing what went wrong and what could have been better. Yes!! exactly like a yearly performance review at work. No matter how much I crib about such review at workplace but personally I find it an absolutely motivating thing to do.

Twenty Seventeen was an extremely significant year as this has been marked in few of my important certificates as well and I just can’t afford to forget this year at any point in my lifetime. Married people would know it better 😉 In between of all the craziness, happiness, peace, fear, frustration, revelations, turbulence, constraints and liberties I learned to live a little more. I became a ‘home-maker’. I tried to be a student and master at the same time. I pretended to be a little smarter with each day. I accepted my flaws and I am glad that my imperfections were accepted too. I grew more plants and I took a good care of them. I traveled more. Yes! there is always an excitement about all the very first things in your life – first cycle, first crush, first love and first stamp on your passport. Yaay!! So far so Good !!

Then what-could-have-been-better this year ?? Well, as a year includes 365 days, which means 365*24 = 8760 hours, I realized how much I had wasted by just pressing that snooze button and few others ‘insignificant’ icons on my phone. I read less and wrote lesser than ever before and hence I missed the essentials of being “myself”. So this is what I would like to improve upon.

No resolutions to follow in Twenty Eighteen as I will forget half of them by the time I slip into my bed again. I will just try to wake up on time tomorrow. Yes !! That’s it 🙂


Value Freedom !

Today when I woke up to the tune of  “ab tumhare hawale vatan saathiyon…” I was convinced enough that the patriotic adrenaline is all charged up and it is the same time of year when we realize how proud we are , what a great country it is and our love for tri-color. It is the same day of the year when we remember our freedom fighters and unmatchable valour of our indian soldiers. We indeed are proud of them and it is just we forget to mention that everyday.

There is an immense amount of sacrifice and efforts which our ancestors and our soldiers have invested to gain our freedom. There is a huge price which has been paid off to make us believe that we are free to celebrate our independence. We indeed are blessed to be a part of this celebrating-generation. Aren’t we ?  The freedom fighter generation was the same generation who believed in the importance of ‘giving’. It is very difficult to dislocate your affection from your immediate family and invest in a greater cause. They made a point to be remembered for their benefactions.

Today, we as professionals earn our living by serving our country with whatever we intend to do. We just have to be honest with our profession as rest of the efforts have already been put by some great leaders and our gallant army. We need to value our freedom and preserve it for our future generation. There is no better feeling than being born free and there is no worse loss than watching our future lying lifeless.

These are not my general post-wake-up thoughts but provocation of an extremely disheartening news which topped the headlines – “Gorakhpur tragedy: 60 children die in Baba Raghav Das Medical College in a week amid oxygen supply disruption.” Is this what we have got to offer to our up coming generation ? When will we understand that there are bigger investments which might help us grow richer and brighter. There is certainly nothing more important than life of our future India. It’s high time now as we have already availed the carefreeness for ourselves, we need to act on the offerings we would make for our next generation. We should contribute much more to this “British-free” India to make it hopeful for our kids because there will be one day when we leave and we should not feel guilty when we hum – “Ab tumhare hawale vatan…”                                  Parades-mark-Indian-Independence-Day-in-America


Settle For Real !

Why we have always been endorsing the ‘calm’ mornings ? Why we have always been so calculative about peace? What’s so wrong in accepting the turbulence in your head ? Why it is just so disapproved ?

The Commotion in your head is the real conversation what you have with a real person. Being humans we have been blessed with amazing ways of expressing ourselves. We feel Happy, Sad, Fearful, Angry, Surprised, Disgusted, Awed, Happily surprised, Sadly surprised, Hatred and there are many more which can make to this list. The point is that everything about you matters but how many times we have accepted and approved of our dejected emotions.

Sad is a real emotion. You can fake to be happy but how many times will you prefer to fake anxiety or sadness or devastated. It takes time to cope with the anxiety in your head and hence you should just spend time with yourself to realize – what’s going on? Keep a check on your self and consider it earnestly. Save a day just to introspect and live with the exact emotion of that day. The havoc will calm down once you accept the “Reality”.

Why “Being Happy” is such an over-hyped emotion. Why we wear a facade just to impress world when we have something really important which is unsettled and which is bothering us and it could be any stupid thing which we ignore just to have a pragmatic approach towards life. However, turbulence is something which can’t be settled until you deal with it. No matter how silly or how irrelevant it might be but try making an effort to consider it. Before it grows in to a huge monster just settle it there. This will make life easy. Always remember that there is solution to everything and what you need the most to find it is just ‘Time’.

Time being the essence of any relationship and now a days when we spend much of our time on social media alone , we are  replacing our favorite people with few icons over Phone. Social media is grabbing a lot of our time and attention and forcing the “Virtual Life” on all of us. Let’s value the real emoji a little more. We have been a great FAN of social-media but at the end of the day we should not forget that this isn’t real. Real is story of your life. Real are the frenzies. Real is the agitation which is questioning you inside your head. So let’s talk real atleast sometimes.

Let’s not be carried away by virtual world to an extent that we regret Life. Being happy is important but Being your true self is peace. End of Turbulence.

It’s Your Choice !

There is a purpose of our existence and to serve that purpose we have been given the ability to choose with the help of our heart and/or brain (whatever you prefer more). Sometimes it takes just a moment to make that choice for yourself and sometimes it takes the whole of  your lifetime to step up and begin the journey but anyway the journey is all bout the ‘Choice’ you make. “Either Do what you actually love or Love what you do”. Choosing not to choose could also be your choice and be aware that your choice is what evolve you as an individual.

                       With whatever choice you make for yourself , you will have to sustain these very strong give-up-now impulsions which keep regulating your belief in your choices. Considering the social and our personal restraint , this impulsion is way too vigorous than what we think it could be and hence we just end up doing the most silly thing – Give Up.  But understand that this is the easiest thing to do. Escape. Shut down the whole system. Inhale. Exhale.

                        It takes courage to stand by your choice and Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is just not giving up even if you have the fear of losing. It is to keep going and keep moving constantly without giving much relevance to the fear which resides deep inside your heart. Courage is the proof of your Hope. Life is not all about your decision or  destination , it is  about the journey which discover YOU. You are formed in your mother’s womb but you are the creator of your own existence.

CREATE  yourself on your own terms and conditions. No matter what , NEVER and I mean NEVER give up on yourself.Don’t do this just to impress the world or somebody but do this because “YOU” want to do it. Remember always that staying happy is no difficult task because you have many options out there to achieve that happiness and today when we are privileged enough to access all but being at peace with yourself is definitely a difficult one!

Hope – The prelude

“Stories end -Happy or Sad, we can still find it out at the ending note of the story, the last chapter says it all, sometimes I jump on to the last page just to cheat myself on getting to the climax fast, just to make sure if my favorite character is alive and happy. But life is not about one story, it’s about all the connected dots which can never be concluded as sad or happy! Yeah that’s Life!”said Mrs Nandini.
I would always bother her asking the same question – “Why don’t we have happy stories in real life also” and she would always sense the ‘lost and sad’ me. She knew that it wasn’t easy and each day was going hard and harder on me. She was like a soothing drop of water placed on a smooth dry surface forming a dome-shaped droplet instead of flowing in random directions.

She has that angelic persona which would captivate any heart at first glance.She was tall and her hair was midnight-black, always laid so perfectly over her shoulders. A pair of arched eyebrows settled proudly over those mesmerizing eyes and her husky voice would do rest of the charm. She was the first love of my life. She still is. 

Today, even after 5 years of school-graduation I still can sense the value of each and every word she said. She is the best person to visit me in dreams and that’s the main reason I hate Mornings. From morning alarm to morning traffic rush , I hate everything.It was the same rush hour when I was hurrying to reach my work place like everyday but today was different.

What I saw in front of my eyes broke the belief I have had for years. I couldn’t believe my eyes and while doctors were running to get the health checkup details, all I wanted to reason out was WHY ???

What could it be?She was happily married. She had the perfect family. What could have triggered such trauma in her life?All these questions were killing me in and out. I remember how she helped me to cope with state of depression when my parents were going through a rough divorce. She made me realize the importance of ‘being happy’ and how a smile can do wonders and has ability to cure pain. She firmly believed in the magic of smile.

I couldn’t believe that someone so full of life would ever try to kill herself. She personified smile. She has given me those everyday advises which had made be believe in life again; can’t believe she wants to quit her own today.
I remember how all my troubles always had a one-go solution that how would Mrs Nandini deal with this. Smile really does wonders and eventually I had taken this formula for life. She owes me my life-guardian, who instilled Hope in me. She was lying on the hospital bed with her eyes moist and half closed. May be she was tired. I just moved the chair and sat beside her to absorb the pain even if she doesn’t want to talk about it.
She was facing the other side and she said – “Do you know about cerebral palsy?”
“No..what’s that?” I asked in a worried tone.

She turned her face towards me and said – “Ansh suffers cerebral palsy and he will never be able to walk on his own feet in this life. I never thought of life turning so difficult. It was all fine in the beginning and I was happily enjoying motherhood until I was held responsible for his condition. A healthy child is precious to all and all these years when none was aware of the reason of his slow development,I held myself upright as a proud mother. He is a smart kid but now things have changed. Nitish thinks that it is all because of some abnormality in me that he has been born this way.”
Tears rolled off her eyes. She was making an arduous effort to put all this in words. May be she wanted to cry her heart out or may be she just wanted to sleep which she wished could continue for forever. I am not sure if what she did was right or not but I just knew that she was in immense pain. She wanted to talk about it. She wanted somebody to listen to her.She continued – “Ours was an arrange marriage. We met each other for the first time when we were crowded by all our family members but among all when our eyes met, which was for some fraction of seconds, we could feel the connection. I never had high expectations from life. I happily accepted whatever came over and Nitish was my true blessing. With his entry into my life,it was like happiness kissing my feet everyday. It was wonderful. Those small visits to try different cuisines in authentic restaurants. Watching late night movies and getting ready to grab his attention. I loved those extra efforts he would put in to make me smile. He loved my smile and all our arguments were done when I used to end up laughing at him”. Mrs Nandini indeed has a smile to die for – Gorgeous smile!

I remember the children’s day celebration where all our teachers perform some dances and acts to entertain kids. Mrs Nandini was given the best performer award where she played the role of a smile who tickles kids.
She , wrapped in a yellow sari, personified smile the best way. So refreshing and giggly.
She looked for glass of water and I quickly served her a glass of water. The strained look on her forehead had taken a nap while she was describing her good old days. She seems to be little relaxed now. Just then the doctor came in with her reports and agreed on shifting her to home, provided she would stay under some surveillance. I escorted her to her home where I couldn’t find anyone waiting for her.

She told me that Ansh would be with her neighbors and when I asked about Nitish then she just went quiet.She lay on the bed to rest her weary bones. She asked me to get Ansh from the neighborhood. She was still scared to face the world. I obeyed her instructions as always. As soon as I got Ansh from neighborhood she jumped to hold him and kissed him repeatedly on his face. Her face lightened up a little after holding Ansh in her hands.
“Mumma, Where did you go for so long? I Was waiting for you”, Ansh asked in a worried tone.
“I just went to get your medicines”, lied Mrs Nandini
Ansh was a very adorable kid and when Mrs Nandini introduced him to me, he waved at me and passed the sweetest smile. No doubt Ansh has inherited his adorable smile from the correct person.
Just then the house-bell rung and it was Mrs Nandini’s mother in law who had reached their place. She has all the way traveled from Bhopal to Delhi.

“I know Mumma is lying”, Ansh said.
Yes,Mrs Nandini was lying. She did not go to take his medicines but carelessly wander on road to take her life away and luckily,I just turned out to be at the correct place and most importantly at correct time. I knew it was too much to take for little Ansh and I lied too – “No..It took time to find the correct medicines”.
I made gesture to leave for the day and promised Ansh to come back later.
All the way when I was driving back home, I couldn’t realize if I could consider this day as happy or sad. I found the best person of my life but she no more was the same person. I parked my car and searched for Cerebral palsy on my mobile.
I read thoroughly,”The term cerebral palsy refers to a group of neurological disorders that appear in infancy or early childhood and permanently affect body movement, muscle coordination, and balance. CP affects the part of the brain that controls muscle movements. The majority of children with cerebral palsy are born with it, although it may not be detected until months or years later. Cerebral palsy can’t be cured, but treatment will often improve a child’s capabilities. In general, the earlier treatment begins the better chance children have of overcoming developmental disabilities or learning new ways to accomplish the tasks that challenge them”.
It was an emotionally challenging night for me. I couldn’t sleep for whole night.
Next day I packed my work early and headed towards Mrs Nandini’s house. I was so relaxed to see her standing in the lawn and sipping tea. She seemed to be in deep thoughts. I couldn’t let her go too deep and made my moves fast to distract her.
“Good evening Miss”, I know this was weird at this age but I was used to this.
She waved at me and offered a seat beside her. She pointed towards a mango plant and told me that Nitish and She had planted it when they first heard the news of her pregnancy.
She said further,”Eventually everything started changing when we got to know about Ansh’s condition. It was growing difficult each day. The connection with what I had with Nitish was broken. He no longer made any efforts to make me feel the same way. A feeling of emptiness filled in me. And then came the day what I had already started sensing since days but ignored it always as a nightmare. Like every morning it was the first thought that came to my mind as I woke up but, today he was gone. And, soon, this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red hibiscus and the half-grown mango tree they had planted together, all those would be gone as well.It was the strangest feeling ever.
My whole world has turned upside down.When I realized that he has just given up on us then I could not accept the fact and think of anything else. I am left with nothing except the little thing which has caused all this to me but now I know, that I don’t have a choice to be a coward. I am a Mother. All these years I thought that it is I who gave birth to him, but actually it is he who has given meaning to my existence.”
I realized that what was a life threatening thought for her yesterday had served hope to her life today.
I saw Ansh crawling around. He was playing with his blocks and trying to make words and it read – HOPE !